Mopey the Clown

Written and drawn by Idiomdrottning.

You meet in a tavern. “Everybody, listen up! We’re looking for Mopey. Mopey ‘the Clown’.” “Wha… what you do you want with her?” “Ripe wild strawberries.” “I ain’t palling around!” “In the back.” “Don’t shoot her!” “I won’t let you shoot her.” “Oh, God, let me live, won’t you please let me live?” “Shut it, gramps!” “Don’t shoot the innkeeper while I’m waiting for my order!” “I’ll just phase through the bullets, they won’t harm me.” “Would you like some strawberries?” “So, you’re Mopey? I’m Mary Sue.” “Are you new in town?” “Yes… I haven’t been eating chicken or meat or anything.” (“Yes, but you’ve been wearing leather… and killing people.”) “I’m not from around here either, but I’ve been staying in the guestroom above.” “You can crash on the couch if you like.” “Let me know if you need anything.” “What? Someone put a head in my bed?” “Goodnight, sleepy head!” “I love you already.” “What was that noise?” “I hope Mopey’s awake.” “Hey, Mopey! I heard something.” “What? Mary Sue through the wall?” “Could it be those guys that tried to kill you earlier?” “Breathe. Still clear water. Breathe.” “Do you think they’ll try to hurt us? Hello? Are you awake?” “That’s impossible. Breathe. Think the thinker. Breathe. Yes, she’s here. Talk later. Pulse.” “Well, if you’re ignoring me!” “Breathe. Itching. Back straight. Candle almost out. Still. Head towards ceiling.” “I thought that those guys that wanted to kill you were here.” “You just ignored me.” “Easy, now. Why are you so afraid?” “Who were they?” “I’ve no idea.” “I’m a target, too.” “I came to this planet…” “‘Planet’?” “…to see the beggar king.” “‘King’? More like ‘jerk’!” “He moved. I’ll take you there.” “He lives here? In the park?” “What of it?” “I thought he was an urban street king.” “That got a little…” “Shush!” “She is so trigger-happy.” “The guard’s armed, too.” “Mopey the Clown? Really?” “Is Birthday in?” “I’ll see if he’s available.” “Was he frightened by my sword?” “…” “No.” “Is that the king?” “Here is your beggar king.” “O king! Give me asylum!” “Oh, brother!” “If you won’t shoulder your own cross and follow behind me, you can’t be my disciple.” “Enter here.” “Mopey.” “Birthday.” “Here I live with my friends.” “My disiples.” “Let’s set the table.” “Mmm, this bread is delicious!” “Do you enjoy eating my flesh?” “Now, what was the problem you were talking about earlier?” “I’m being followed by the Empire.” “I always saw the space police hanging around my neighbourhood.” “I am so bad ass right now.” “I hear you, sister!” “I’m in a similar situation.” “They’re after me, too.” “In fact, I am going to be betrayed…” “…by the one who dips her bread when I do.” “Oh, come on!” “Mopey! How could you!” “Don’t judge so quickly, Mary Sue.” “You’ll deny me three times.” “Nah-uh! I call don’tsies!” “We’ll see how that turns out.” “Let’s go for a bit of fresh air.”