I rarely get tongue-tied in conversations, usually having quick answers for everything (not that I’m particularly clever, I’m definitively not, but because I’ve thought some kinda unusual perspectives through, and when people try to challenge me, they often lead the conversation straight into my home turf.
That is also a lesson for when talking to people with messed up views—even if they’re wrong, they might’ve thought their views through a lot more than most people have—so debate is usually not a good way to reach them compared to other forms of conversation, I don’t know.
Talking to acquaintances today, they asked “so what public figure do you think is best?” (implied “politically”, or I would’ve said some figure from arts or literature, like Chris Claremont). And I was pretty tongue-tied for once. I couldn’t even think of one who was acceptable, let alone best. I do have some people I admire and trust very much, but they’re friends, not someone I’m just an “audience member” of.
A more zoomed-out way to look at it is that we are living in power culture. Power from mobs and power from thrones.
Maybe there is another way for us to set up our personal and professional relationships, and our fandoms and admirations, so that the power gaps and the stakes don’t have to be so intense.